Creativity A Blessing or A Curse

The light I so
desperately seek
has turned dim
I don't even know
where to begin
I have so many feelings
penetrating my soul
I feel the cold and
dark surround me
as my soul sinks
into a a hole
It is as if
a part of me has died
and in truth
I can not lie
My creativity and freedom
now is gone
and I 'am not even
sure if it's wrong
Why must I have
to be here
in this time
and this place
These awful feelings
I know I must embrace
Again the confusion
pours all over me
Through this wall of pain
I can not see.
It hurts to feel
and it hurts to think
So I just sit here
and stare and blink
I want to be free
of feeling this way
I need to regroup
then I'll have more to say

Please Not Again

I have a sinking feeling
deep within my chest.
Where my mind wonders
there isn't any rest.
It disturbs me
what I read
on her famous blog.
Not knowing your side
makes this blog
her monologue.
These unhappy signs
i've seem them all before.
Will she take the kids
and walk right out the door?
Will she be leaving you
alive but yet again alone?
Will you sit and wait
by the telephone?
or
Are you stronger than
the time before
when your lover left
and shook your very core?
"For better or for worse"
was the vow you both pledged.
Work thought this.
Don't allow your marriage
to be dead.
Is the love you both felt
now completely gone?
With your awakening
I thought you knew
where you belonged.
I don't want to be right
about what I think
I see and feel.
Please tell me that
this dream I think I see
isn't really real.