Things Changed

Things changed
Life rearranged
on my journey's path.
Love it comes
Love it goes
Is mine the kind that lasts?
Questions arise
Feelings revised
all held under breath.
Words not said
Is passion dead
Could this be my death.
Hurt soul
Under control
in need of some strength.
Feeling fear
Insecure
Going to what length?
Under demand
Not in command
Not knowing where to turn
Wanting to feel
love that is real
for yesterday's love I yearn

Our Day

October 10 is our special day.
I have just a few things
I would like to say.
Peggy, I love you
with all of my heart.
From each other I know
we will never part.
I need and want
you by my side.
If we could marry
I would be your bride.
For you there isn't anything
I wouldn't do.
I know you can see
that my heart is true.
You show me every day
how much you care.
I know I can count
on you being there.
With you the past eleven years
have gone swiftly by.
Your strength, humor
and love, I do rely.
When you kiss
and hold me tight.
I know that all in my world
will be alright.
You are my best friend
lover and wife.
Every day I thank my creator
that you are in my life.

The Power of the Universe and My Love

The power of the universe

moves the stars
moves the atoms in my being
This force has put eyes on my heart
making me aware
of all the love that I am seeing
Yes
I believe in the power of the universe
It is connected to my core
It brought to me my woman
who's love will be "forever" more
Our love was born from simple
truths
This love we share is like no other
The wisdom deep within my soul

whispers

there will never be another
My love and I share a trust
which creates a strong foundation
The woman who is my love
is a glorious creation
Her energy feeds my soul
Her existence is as essential to me
as is the air that I breathe
Her love completes me
there isn't nothing more that I need
My love is so supportive
Always knowing when I am weak
She comes to me with soft words
helping me to find the words to speak
Laying behind closed doors
time seems to stand still
Her smell
her love
her touch
I can never get my fill
Her existence in my life
I swear I could never live without
She is my "forever" love
This
I have not a doubt.

The Slow Death Of My Mother

My mother died
a long time ago
even though she's
alive and well
It's a twisted sorted tale
that I'm about to tell
Her death wasn't sudden
Her demise took many years
It seemed to coincide
with the realization of
all my fears

She died a little more

She died each time

she wrongfully accused

It took years to see

how skillfully she did abuse

She died a little more

She seemed to take pride

in how she brutally criticize

As years passed by

I learned she would

never apologize

She died a little more

She always had to be right

no matter what the cost

She made me doubt myself

She made me feel lost

She died a little more

She was very crafty

hiding behind a mother's

disguise

She instilled fear that

did pulverize

She died a little more

She would never give an inch

She would never compromise

She used guilt and shame

to demoralize

She died a little more

Some people think

I should visit her more often

They don't understand

to me

she is dead and buried

in her coffin

The Ultimate Boundary

I was raised on dysfunction.
Lying and manipulation was
the Golden Rule.
There was not any praise.
Just the use of guilt
and ridicule.
My soul was beaten down.
My spirit devastated.
I was crushed to the point
my soul, my spirit, my being
was almost eliminated.
I was weak.
I was confused.
My soul covered with
infected wounds.
From this snake pit like hell
I was not immune.
Death was an option.
No more hurt
no more pain
or
do I fight to survive
for my own life to gain.
I felt each painful cut
of the sharp steel knife.
I had to dissect
the infected wounds
from my miserable life.
At times I wondered
if the pain would ever cease.
Would my mind, my soul, my spirit
from this hell be released?
I had to look.
I had to see.
What would be found
deep inside of me?
As I looked
I saw a light
so very small
but it shined so bright.
My mind, my soul, my spirit
this intense light would unite.
Then deep within my core.
I felt an incredible strength.
I knew if I were to survive.
I would go to any length.
I saw that the people of the earth
are united as one.
I learned that there
are sacred messages
written on
the rays of the sun.
I found what I think.
I found what I speak.
Can make me very strong.
or
can make me very weak.
I can create a fear
that will paralyze.
But then my freedom
I will have jeopardized.
In my strength
I can create love, truth, and peace.
Heaven here on earth
is in my reach.
I won't allow manipulation
and lies to be a part
of my dream .
I will keep strong, live truth
my self esteem I will redeem.
I know I can't
do this alone
but by my Higher Power
I will be shownn.

Time to Reflect

As another birthday draws near
I look to my Creator and reflect
on the past year.
I seek to learn more
about my own spirituality.
Knowledge and wisdom helps
me to understand my own
mortality.
I ask my Creator to help me see
all the wonder and beauty
that has been given to me.
Eric and Rachel are my
angels from above.
My Creator blessed me
with two wonderful children
to love.
My partner, best friend
and the love of my life.
My Creator sent me Peggy
to teach me about true love
and to to share my life.
Seeing the beauty and splendor
of this great earth
teaches me about my own
special worth.
To know why I was made
and the reason I was put here
brings me closer to my Creator
I can feel the spirit near.
Wisdom, peace, and love
are the key to living
my life.
Living it freely living it
with out strife.

Reflection of Love

I took a look inside my heart.
What did I see?
A mirror of love reflecting
back at me.
I saw a love so abundant
it will continue as long as time.
This love is given to me
from my precious Valentine.
My Valentine knows
just how tender my heart can be.
My love
my woman
my Valentine
loves me unconditionally.
Our love is so incredible.
Our hearts so entwined.
I am so very happy
that I have Peggy
for my special Valentine.

Merry Christmas

It's Christmas time.
We have decorated the tree.
It's standing in the corner
looking as pretty as can be.
The lights twinkle and they
shine bright.
The snow falls silently
through out the night.
I am safe and warm
in your loving arms.
With you I am protected
from all heartache and harm.
Shopping for the gifts.
Selecting just the right ones.
Then comes the wrapping
for me it's great fun.
But the best gift is found
when I look at you.
It's the gift of your love
that I know is true.
Your love is a gift
that was meant to be
just mine.
A gift that I know
will out last time.
You are the greatest gift
that I will ever receive.
In you and your love
I do believe.
You know me well.
Inside and out.
In you and your love
I have not a doubt.
With your love and security
I have found my peace.
All my fears and concerns
I can now release.
Christmas is a time
for yuletide cheer.
I know that my Christmas
will be merry
because I have you near.

Tonight?

My love for you continually grows.
My passion feels as though it
might explode.
I got to have you
and it must be tonight.
I hope your are not to tired
and put up a fight.
Last night you asked me "why"
to that question I will reply.
When I look into your eyes
I see your soul and realize
that all your love
comes from there.
You are the only one who
knows me and cares.
It's not just that
I will admit.
My hands love to touch you
and it's hard to quit.
Honey
you just turn me on.
I really hope
you don't feel put upon.

The Moment

The moment I saw you
I thought humm this
could be nice.
I knew I wanted to get
to know you.
I didn't have to think twice.
You walked into the room
and sat down in a chair.
For that moment in time
I was blessed that I was there.
Our coming out group
met only once a week.
I wanted to get close to you
so to you I would often speak.
I would sit on the couch
waiting for you to arrive.
Once you entered the room
I would say "sit here".
I wanted you by my side.
Our first meeting was back in 1998.
Then on October tenth
we went on our first date.
Just one date and I knew
I wanted you to be mine.
We would have enough love
to last past our past our lifetime.
My security and peace
is found when I look
into your eyes.
You are all I need or want.
This fact I do realize.
Today is our ninth anniversary
that together we celebrate.
My love
Devotion
and Respect
to you I do rededicate.

Forever

Our tenth anniversary.
Time moves so very fast.
I know that the love we share
will forever last.
Forever is a place
that's found just past eternity.
I know someday we
will meet there
because our love will forever be.
Our souls are ever connected
because of the love we share.
Our love is like no other
it stands beyond compare.
I give to you a ring.
It has no beginning nor
does it have an end.
It's a symbol of my love for you.
On that love you can depend.
My lover is yours forever.
I will proclaim it with my last breath.
My love for you is so strong
it will continue beyond death.
So I will meet you at forever.
You will always be by my side.
I know that I will return to you
because our love can't be denied.

Wanting Aching Craving

I couldn't wait to see you.
To kiss and hold you tight.
I want us to make love
that would last into the night.
The thought of us making love
is haunting my mind.
The way that you look
when I touch you
sends chills up and down
my spine.
I can taste the
sweetness of desire
that lingers in my soul.
The thoughts of your naked body
brings feelings I can't control.
I want to feel the heat of our bodies
as we move united as one.
The image of us together
plays over and over
in my mind
like an old television re-run.
I know your body.
A picture that's burnt into my brain.
The satisfaction from your touch
I have not yet been able to obtain.
You give me a pleasure
that comes from a love that is true.
A pleasure that before you
I swear I never knew.
This compelling need to
make love to you
grows stronger as each day goes by.
The thoughts and feelings consume me
to this I can testify.
This woman needs the
sweet release from these feelings
building deep inside.
A release that you and you alone
can only provide.

My Woman

I was drawn to your sensuality
then turned on by your sexuality.
It's your kiss
your love
your touch
that I need in my reality.
You look into my eyes.
You saw all the way into
my soul.
With your kiss
your love
your touch
you have taken complete
control.
My soul aches
and my passion burns.
For you kiss
your Love
your touch
my body and soul yearn.
When I slide up close
next to your hips
and thighs
it's you kiss
your love
your touch
that makes my passion
rise.
Your hands know just where to go.
You know just what to do.
Your kiss
your love
your touch
moved me through
and through.
You know my sighs.
you understand my guttural moans.
Because of your kiss
your love
your touch
my heart you will always own.
The merging of our soul
when our bodies collide
it's your kiss
your love
your touch
that keeps me satisfied.
My love and my desire
you have ignited into
a raging fire.
From your kiss
your love
your touch
I shall never tire.

A Week Seems Like Forever

Oh my god, Honey!
I miss you so much.
Your sweet dreamy smile.
Your warm and sexy touch.
I know that this visit
is to be only one week.
With you on the phone
every night I do speak.
I miss you the most
when nighttime falls.
I always look forward
to our last phone call.
Hearing your voice
over the phone
makes my heartache.
I wish I were home in
your warm
and tender embrace.
The nights are so long.
Slowly each day goes by.
My soul misses you
and my heart cries.
At five o'clock I miss
you walking in the door.
I miss your hugging
and your kissing that
leaves me wanting more.
Each day does finally pass.
Friday is here.
Soon I will be in your arms
holding you near.

Woman

I don't understand
why you have been treating
me like you do.
All I did was express some needs
that I thought we cold work through.
I feel like a hole
has been ripped into my chest.
If you are to look
you will find an emptiness.
We speak to each other
in respectful tones.
But I don't feel close to you.
I just feel alone.
I get a customary kiss
in the morning.
A customary kiss goodnight.
My sadness over whelms me.
I know that I don't want to fight.
You don't put your
arm around me.
You don't take my
hand to hold.
I don't understand why
you are being so very cold.
You said you would like to talk
about our discussion on
Monday night.
But how long must I
have to wait for your insight.
I thought that we could share
all that we are feeling.
Because of your silence
and your actions
this leaves me disbelieving.
Do you really love me?
Do you really care?
I don't think that your
silences and coldness is
really being fair.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to do.
All I can say is
that I love you.

My Passion

My passion I can't hide
I can no longer be denied.
I need and want you by my side.

I want to see you
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Your body's pressed close to me.
It's only your love that I see.
My thighs and yours entwined.
Oh. woman this moment so divine.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Your touch makes me weak.
It's only your love that I seek.
Your kiss upon my skin.
Stirs my passion from deep within.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

You move my heart and soul.
I release all my self control.
The scent of our love
lingers in the air.
My heart tells my mind
no one else can compare.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Laying here in your arms
slowly drifting off to sleep.
Please know in your mind
and in your heart
that my love is yours to keep.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Five O'clock

I miss my love
my woman
during the long day.
Only a call at noon that
ends to soon
leaving me with
much left to say.
So
the best time of the day
is when five o'clock comes
around.
Most of the chores are finished.
Things now are calming down.
It's when my woman comes home.
She walks through the door.
she is mine and mine alone
We sit and talk.
We share our thoughts
about our daily dealings.
My love, my woman
she knows me well.
She understands my feelings.
I am forever grateful.
I am forever blessed.
I am forever thankful
my Creator gave me the very best.

Bedtime

When the day has had it's glory
and the night now rules the sky.
The moon and stars gleam
down from heaven
together we heave a sigh.
It's our time to be together.
our time to be alone.
No noise from the television.
No one calling on the phone.
I want to lie down along side you
and mold myself to your shape.
I want to feel the warmth of your body
and gaze into your loving face.
I want to be so close to you
that I can feel your beating heart.
My soul will confirm without a doubt
that we will never be apart.
I want to be so united with you
that I can feel your inner peace.
With you in my arms
we will drift off to sleep.

Happy Birthday Love

My lover's birthday is now here.
I give her my love.
I wish her good health
and I wish her good cheer.
Age to me really does not matter.
My woman has much to praise
and more to flatter.
My woman has this sexy smile.
I can sit and gaze at it for a long while.
Her sexy smile just melts my heart.
I know from her I will never part.
My lover understands me.
She accepts me for who I am.
Unconditional love she gives
to me with out demand.
I love how my lover looks me
straight in my eyes.
Then comes a hug, a kiss
that leads to some sighs.
Eight years with my woman
will soon pass.
but to have loved so intensely
the time flew by so fast.
We hold each other close.
We don't like to be apart.
We have been there for each other
right from the start.
Holding her close
we drift off to sleep at night.
Our bodies entwined
holding each other tight.
It's my lover's birthday.
A marking of time.
But to me, I have Peggy.
The birthday gift is all mine.

Creativity A Blessing or A Curse

The light I so
desperately seek
has turned dim
I don't even know
where to begin
I have so many feelings
penetrating my soul
I feel the cold and
dark surround me
as my soul sinks
into a a hole
It is as if
a part of me has died
and in truth
I can not lie
My creativity and freedom
now is gone
and I 'am not even
sure if it's wrong
Why must I have
to be here
in this time
and this place
These awful feelings
I know I must embrace
Again the confusion
pours all over me
Through this wall of pain
I can not see.
It hurts to feel
and it hurts to think
So I just sit here
and stare and blink
I want to be free
of feeling this way
I need to regroup
then I'll have more to say