Oct 10th Here and Now

I know what October 10th
has meant to me in the past
but this life of mine
shows me
how things can change
so fast
I do not mourn
for the life that I had
I've been given a vision
I am no longer sad
On August 7th
a wise women
put her hand on my heart
She said "let your partner go"
"this is to be your new start"
She said "It's all about vibrations
that come from deep within"
"Lift your wings, feel the air
let your soaring begin"
She said "the vibrations
that you are now sending out
are coming from a spirit
that has grown
without a doubt"
"What is not good
will vibrate away"
"This will make room in your life
know in your heart
that it's OK"
She went on
"The creator will send
like vibrations to you"
"This will surely happen
if you believe this to be true"
Now, I love this wise woman
She has taught me so much
I felt her gentle spirit
in that simply touch
I will no longer be afraid
to be just me
I love who I am
and all can see
that with Faith, Hope
and Courage
I can just
BE

Peggy

This is the last poem
I will ever write for you
It's over
It's done
I am through
I tried to understand"why"
but all you do
is to deny
You keep denying
You lay the blame
"Honey" look at yourself
or you will stay the same
In my growth
you've seen me
become strong
It's ok to blame
I know
I am not wrong
I think the reason
you don't want me to grow
is because
you can no longer control
I wanted us
to work things out
but with your feelings
there is no doubt
Moving on
to a new life
will be just fine
without you
as my wife
This breakup
is very sad
but a life without you
isn't all bad.
I will continue
to grow
I will continue
to learn
on life's passion
I will yearn
I think you need
to look and see
just how controlling
you can be

New Day

With the light of dawn
comes a new day
I must have faith
in what comes my way
I know in the pain
there are lessons to learn
These hurtful times
I must not spurn
In this time
when things are bad
If I look hard
miracles are
to be had
Even though
my pain is great
This hurt filled life
I will not berate
I pray to accept
what I can not change
It's my life
I must rearrange
To grow
I will go
to any length
My Higher Power
will give me strength
Sometime I'm tired
I feel weak
can't even find
the words to speak
Nothing makes sense
nothing seems real
except the hurt
the pain
that I feel
I believe
"in one day at a time"
with my Higher Power
life will be sublime

Last Night

Last night we held
each other tight
we made love
all though the night
We told each other
we'd never let go
You even said
there was room to grow
We cried and said
we should always be
That I loved you
and you loved me
Being with you was
heaven on earth
My life had purpose
I felt my worth
Then I awoke
My face stained
with tears
I felt instantly sick
crushed under
the weight
of my fears
I have you now
haunting me at night
Telling me
ever thing is all right
I wish I could stop
the thoughts in my brain
My love for you
is driving me insane
I can't eat
don't sleep
I cry all the time
all because
I wish you were mine
I pray for strength
and courage
from my Creator above
In my life I shall have love

Agony

Here comes the waves
the pain's so great
You are my love
forever my mate
In my heart
you shall aways be
but I need
I want you
close to me
Were we too quick
with our good-byes?
Couldn't we have even tried?
There is a saying
this too shall pass
but I thought our love
would "forever" last
I pray for anger
I wish I could be mad
but all I am
is really sad
I think anger
would ease the pain
but in the end
there is nothing to gain.
I know that
I need to grow
but I have hit
my lowest of lows
One minute I feel
as strong as can be
my soul is flying
it's great to be me
Then in a second
my soul
comes crashing down
the doubt enters in
I feel hell bound
I need for this agony
this deep sadness
to end
My spirit
my soul
my body
needs
to mend

To My Higher Power

I know that fear will paralyze
but
with faith in you
all good
will materialize.
You give me strength, hope
and love
all sent to me
from high above.
My Higher Power
I trust in you
I know that you will see me through.
I may not understand
all the "whys"
but in your love
I can't deny.
I don't know
what is best for me
Please open my eyes
so "your will" I'll see
I know you are
always there
In you
I put my trust and care
Today I will look
for blessing's galore
I know in you
good things are in store

Thank You

Help

The grief comes
crashing in waves
It feels cold and dark
like a lonely grave
I feel like I am living death
The pain is so great
I can't get my breath
Sometime I wonder
how will I stay alive
But my soul is strong
it will survive
I need to accept
what I can not change
But the pictures of
you are locked in my brain.
My love for you
is still in my heart
I don't think this
will ever part
My Higher Power
has handed this to me
I need guidance and light
for me to see

Something Is Missing

Something is missing.
I feel the loss.
I want it back
but at what cost?
Unhappiness fills the empty space.
Her love is gone
it left with out a trace.
How could this happen?
How can this be?
It was strong
for all to see.
My soul is hurt.
The wound is deep.
Misery inside the wound does creep.
The wound is fresh.
It is bloody and raw.
All I can do is sit and bawl.
I love her.
I want her
even though
it's not meant to be.
I am not sure
why this happened to me.
I have loved ones
and friends
who will see me though.
But in the end
I won't have you

Journey

The big things are moved
my clothes are packed.
It's time to move
on down the the path.
11 years are over
with the one I still love
Please send me strength from above.
A new life waits ahead
Not filled with guilt,
fear or dread.
I have my faith to see me through
and yes
I must
love me too
Sometimes I don't understand "why"
it makes me sad
then I cry
I know that each day
is given as a gift
My Higher Power
my spirits will lift.

The Break Up

I lay here
listening to you sleep
with my head on my pillow
all I can do is weep
You told me my "forever"
ends at 11 years
There isn't any way
I can stop the tears.
My fear inside
is replaced by faith
My Higher Power
has put me here
in this time and place.
I know you don't
understand
but on this journey
I wanted you
to take my hand
I lay no blame
but will take it all
It will depend who
views this breakup
They will have their own call
I wish I didn't love you
but i do
but on this journey and growth
I must be true.

Things Changed

Things changed
Life rearranged
on my journey's path.
Love it comes
Love it goes
Is mine the kind that lasts?
Questions arise
Feelings revised
all held under breath.
Words not said
Is passion dead
Could this be my death.
Hurt soul
Under control
in need of some strength.
Feeling fear
Insecure
Going to what length?
Under demand
Not in command
Not knowing where to turn
Wanting to feel
love that is real
for yesterday's love I yearn