Our Day

October 10 is our special day.
I have just a few things
I would like to say.
Peggy, I love you
with all of my heart.
From each other I know
we will never part.
I need and want
you by my side.
If we could marry
I would be your bride.
For you there isn't anything
I wouldn't do.
I know you can see
that my heart is true.
You show me every day
how much you care.
I know I can count
on you being there.
With you the past eleven years
have gone swiftly by.
Your strength, humor
and love, I do rely.
When you kiss
and hold me tight.
I know that all in my world
will be alright.
You are my best friend
lover and wife.
Every day I thank my creator
that you are in my life.

The Power of the Universe and My Love

The power of the universe

moves the stars
moves the atoms in my being
This force has put eyes on my heart
making me aware
of all the love that I am seeing
Yes
I believe in the power of the universe
It is connected to my core
It brought to me my woman
who's love will be "forever" more
Our love was born from simple
truths
This love we share is like no other
The wisdom deep within my soul

whispers

there will never be another
My love and I share a trust
which creates a strong foundation
The woman who is my love
is a glorious creation
Her energy feeds my soul
Her existence is as essential to me
as is the air that I breathe
Her love completes me
there isn't nothing more that I need
My love is so supportive
Always knowing when I am weak
She comes to me with soft words
helping me to find the words to speak
Laying behind closed doors
time seems to stand still
Her smell
her love
her touch
I can never get my fill
Her existence in my life
I swear I could never live without
She is my "forever" love
This
I have not a doubt.

The Slow Death Of My Mother

My mother died
a long time ago
even though she's
alive and well
It's a twisted sorted tale
that I'm about to tell
Her death wasn't sudden
Her demise took many years
It seemed to coincide
with the realization of
all my fears

She died a little more

She died each time

she wrongfully accused

It took years to see

how skillfully she did abuse

She died a little more

She seemed to take pride

in how she brutally criticize

As years passed by

I learned she would

never apologize

She died a little more

She always had to be right

no matter what the cost

She made me doubt myself

She made me feel lost

She died a little more

She was very crafty

hiding behind a mother's

disguise

She instilled fear that

did pulverize

She died a little more

She would never give an inch

She would never compromise

She used guilt and shame

to demoralize

She died a little more

Some people think

I should visit her more often

They don't understand

to me

she is dead and buried

in her coffin

The Ultimate Boundary

I was raised on dysfunction.
Lying and manipulation was
the Golden Rule.
There was not any praise.
Just the use of guilt
and ridicule.
My soul was beaten down.
My spirit devastated.
I was crushed to the point
my soul, my spirit, my being
was almost eliminated.
I was weak.
I was confused.
My soul covered with
infected wounds.
From this snake pit like hell
I was not immune.
Death was an option.
No more hurt
no more pain
or
do I fight to survive
for my own life to gain.
I felt each painful cut
of the sharp steel knife.
I had to dissect
the infected wounds
from my miserable life.
At times I wondered
if the pain would ever cease.
Would my mind, my soul, my spirit
from this hell be released?
I had to look.
I had to see.
What would be found
deep inside of me?
As I looked
I saw a light
so very small
but it shined so bright.
My mind, my soul, my spirit
this intense light would unite.
Then deep within my core.
I felt an incredible strength.
I knew if I were to survive.
I would go to any length.
I saw that the people of the earth
are united as one.
I learned that there
are sacred messages
written on
the rays of the sun.
I found what I think.
I found what I speak.
Can make me very strong.
or
can make me very weak.
I can create a fear
that will paralyze.
But then my freedom
I will have jeopardized.
In my strength
I can create love, truth, and peace.
Heaven here on earth
is in my reach.
I won't allow manipulation
and lies to be a part
of my dream .
I will keep strong, live truth
my self esteem I will redeem.
I know I can't
do this alone
but by my Higher Power
I will be shownn.

Time to Reflect

As another birthday draws near
I look to my Creator and reflect
on the past year.
I seek to learn more
about my own spirituality.
Knowledge and wisdom helps
me to understand my own
mortality.
I ask my Creator to help me see
all the wonder and beauty
that has been given to me.
Eric and Rachel are my
angels from above.
My Creator blessed me
with two wonderful children
to love.
My partner, best friend
and the love of my life.
My Creator sent me Peggy
to teach me about true love
and to to share my life.
Seeing the beauty and splendor
of this great earth
teaches me about my own
special worth.
To know why I was made
and the reason I was put here
brings me closer to my Creator
I can feel the spirit near.
Wisdom, peace, and love
are the key to living
my life.
Living it freely living it
with out strife.

Reflection of Love

I took a look inside my heart.
What did I see?
A mirror of love reflecting
back at me.
I saw a love so abundant
it will continue as long as time.
This love is given to me
from my precious Valentine.
My Valentine knows
just how tender my heart can be.
My love
my woman
my Valentine
loves me unconditionally.
Our love is so incredible.
Our hearts so entwined.
I am so very happy
that I have Peggy
for my special Valentine.

Merry Christmas

It's Christmas time.
We have decorated the tree.
It's standing in the corner
looking as pretty as can be.
The lights twinkle and they
shine bright.
The snow falls silently
through out the night.
I am safe and warm
in your loving arms.
With you I am protected
from all heartache and harm.
Shopping for the gifts.
Selecting just the right ones.
Then comes the wrapping
for me it's great fun.
But the best gift is found
when I look at you.
It's the gift of your love
that I know is true.
Your love is a gift
that was meant to be
just mine.
A gift that I know
will out last time.
You are the greatest gift
that I will ever receive.
In you and your love
I do believe.
You know me well.
Inside and out.
In you and your love
I have not a doubt.
With your love and security
I have found my peace.
All my fears and concerns
I can now release.
Christmas is a time
for yuletide cheer.
I know that my Christmas
will be merry
because I have you near.

Tonight?

My love for you continually grows.
My passion feels as though it
might explode.
I got to have you
and it must be tonight.
I hope your are not to tired
and put up a fight.
Last night you asked me "why"
to that question I will reply.
When I look into your eyes
I see your soul and realize
that all your love
comes from there.
You are the only one who
knows me and cares.
It's not just that
I will admit.
My hands love to touch you
and it's hard to quit.
Honey
you just turn me on.
I really hope
you don't feel put upon.

The Moment

The moment I saw you
I thought humm this
could be nice.
I knew I wanted to get
to know you.
I didn't have to think twice.
You walked into the room
and sat down in a chair.
For that moment in time
I was blessed that I was there.
Our coming out group
met only once a week.
I wanted to get close to you
so to you I would often speak.
I would sit on the couch
waiting for you to arrive.
Once you entered the room
I would say "sit here".
I wanted you by my side.
Our first meeting was back in 1998.
Then on October tenth
we went on our first date.
Just one date and I knew
I wanted you to be mine.
We would have enough love
to last past our past our lifetime.
My security and peace
is found when I look
into your eyes.
You are all I need or want.
This fact I do realize.
Today is our ninth anniversary
that together we celebrate.
My love
Devotion
and Respect
to you I do rededicate.

Forever

Our tenth anniversary.
Time moves so very fast.
I know that the love we share
will forever last.
Forever is a place
that's found just past eternity.
I know someday we
will meet there
because our love will forever be.
Our souls are ever connected
because of the love we share.
Our love is like no other
it stands beyond compare.
I give to you a ring.
It has no beginning nor
does it have an end.
It's a symbol of my love for you.
On that love you can depend.
My lover is yours forever.
I will proclaim it with my last breath.
My love for you is so strong
it will continue beyond death.
So I will meet you at forever.
You will always be by my side.
I know that I will return to you
because our love can't be denied.

Wanting Aching Craving

I couldn't wait to see you.
To kiss and hold you tight.
I want us to make love
that would last into the night.
The thought of us making love
is haunting my mind.
The way that you look
when I touch you
sends chills up and down
my spine.
I can taste the
sweetness of desire
that lingers in my soul.
The thoughts of your naked body
brings feelings I can't control.
I want to feel the heat of our bodies
as we move united as one.
The image of us together
plays over and over
in my mind
like an old television re-run.
I know your body.
A picture that's burnt into my brain.
The satisfaction from your touch
I have not yet been able to obtain.
You give me a pleasure
that comes from a love that is true.
A pleasure that before you
I swear I never knew.
This compelling need to
make love to you
grows stronger as each day goes by.
The thoughts and feelings consume me
to this I can testify.
This woman needs the
sweet release from these feelings
building deep inside.
A release that you and you alone
can only provide.

My Woman

I was drawn to your sensuality
then turned on by your sexuality.
It's your kiss
your love
your touch
that I need in my reality.
You look into my eyes.
You saw all the way into
my soul.
With your kiss
your love
your touch
you have taken complete
control.
My soul aches
and my passion burns.
For you kiss
your Love
your touch
my body and soul yearn.
When I slide up close
next to your hips
and thighs
it's you kiss
your love
your touch
that makes my passion
rise.
Your hands know just where to go.
You know just what to do.
Your kiss
your love
your touch
moved me through
and through.
You know my sighs.
you understand my guttural moans.
Because of your kiss
your love
your touch
my heart you will always own.
The merging of our soul
when our bodies collide
it's your kiss
your love
your touch
that keeps me satisfied.
My love and my desire
you have ignited into
a raging fire.
From your kiss
your love
your touch
I shall never tire.

A Week Seems Like Forever

Oh my god, Honey!
I miss you so much.
Your sweet dreamy smile.
Your warm and sexy touch.
I know that this visit
is to be only one week.
With you on the phone
every night I do speak.
I miss you the most
when nighttime falls.
I always look forward
to our last phone call.
Hearing your voice
over the phone
makes my heartache.
I wish I were home in
your warm
and tender embrace.
The nights are so long.
Slowly each day goes by.
My soul misses you
and my heart cries.
At five o'clock I miss
you walking in the door.
I miss your hugging
and your kissing that
leaves me wanting more.
Each day does finally pass.
Friday is here.
Soon I will be in your arms
holding you near.

Woman

I don't understand
why you have been treating
me like you do.
All I did was express some needs
that I thought we cold work through.
I feel like a hole
has been ripped into my chest.
If you are to look
you will find an emptiness.
We speak to each other
in respectful tones.
But I don't feel close to you.
I just feel alone.
I get a customary kiss
in the morning.
A customary kiss goodnight.
My sadness over whelms me.
I know that I don't want to fight.
You don't put your
arm around me.
You don't take my
hand to hold.
I don't understand why
you are being so very cold.
You said you would like to talk
about our discussion on
Monday night.
But how long must I
have to wait for your insight.
I thought that we could share
all that we are feeling.
Because of your silence
and your actions
this leaves me disbelieving.
Do you really love me?
Do you really care?
I don't think that your
silences and coldness is
really being fair.
I don't know what to say.
I don't know what to do.
All I can say is
that I love you.

My Passion

My passion I can't hide
I can no longer be denied.
I need and want you by my side.

I want to see you
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Your body's pressed close to me.
It's only your love that I see.
My thighs and yours entwined.
Oh. woman this moment so divine.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Your touch makes me weak.
It's only your love that I seek.
Your kiss upon my skin.
Stirs my passion from deep within.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

You move my heart and soul.
I release all my self control.
The scent of our love
lingers in the air.
My heart tells my mind
no one else can compare.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Laying here in your arms
slowly drifting off to sleep.
Please know in your mind
and in your heart
that my love is yours to keep.

I want to see you.
Oh, I need to hold you.
I need to touch you.
I have to taste you.

Five O'clock

I miss my love
my woman
during the long day.
Only a call at noon that
ends to soon
leaving me with
much left to say.
So
the best time of the day
is when five o'clock comes
around.
Most of the chores are finished.
Things now are calming down.
It's when my woman comes home.
She walks through the door.
she is mine and mine alone
We sit and talk.
We share our thoughts
about our daily dealings.
My love, my woman
she knows me well.
She understands my feelings.
I am forever grateful.
I am forever blessed.
I am forever thankful
my Creator gave me the very best.

Bedtime

When the day has had it's glory
and the night now rules the sky.
The moon and stars gleam
down from heaven
together we heave a sigh.
It's our time to be together.
our time to be alone.
No noise from the television.
No one calling on the phone.
I want to lie down along side you
and mold myself to your shape.
I want to feel the warmth of your body
and gaze into your loving face.
I want to be so close to you
that I can feel your beating heart.
My soul will confirm without a doubt
that we will never be apart.
I want to be so united with you
that I can feel your inner peace.
With you in my arms
we will drift off to sleep.

Happy Birthday Love

My lover's birthday is now here.
I give her my love.
I wish her good health
and I wish her good cheer.
Age to me really does not matter.
My woman has much to praise
and more to flatter.
My woman has this sexy smile.
I can sit and gaze at it for a long while.
Her sexy smile just melts my heart.
I know from her I will never part.
My lover understands me.
She accepts me for who I am.
Unconditional love she gives
to me with out demand.
I love how my lover looks me
straight in my eyes.
Then comes a hug, a kiss
that leads to some sighs.
Eight years with my woman
will soon pass.
but to have loved so intensely
the time flew by so fast.
We hold each other close.
We don't like to be apart.
We have been there for each other
right from the start.
Holding her close
we drift off to sleep at night.
Our bodies entwined
holding each other tight.
It's my lover's birthday.
A marking of time.
But to me, I have Peggy.
The birthday gift is all mine.

Creativity A Blessing or A Curse

The light I so
desperately seek
has turned dim
I don't even know
where to begin
I have so many feelings
penetrating my soul
I feel the cold and
dark surround me
as my soul sinks
into a a hole
It is as if
a part of me has died
and in truth
I can not lie
My creativity and freedom
now is gone
and I 'am not even
sure if it's wrong
Why must I have
to be here
in this time
and this place
These awful feelings
I know I must embrace
Again the confusion
pours all over me
Through this wall of pain
I can not see.
It hurts to feel
and it hurts to think
So I just sit here
and stare and blink
I want to be free
of feeling this way
I need to regroup
then I'll have more to say

Please Not Again

I have a sinking feeling
deep within my chest.
Where my mind wonders
there isn't any rest.
It disturbs me
what I read
on her famous blog.
Not knowing your side
makes this blog
her monologue.
These unhappy signs
i've seem them all before.
Will she take the kids
and walk right out the door?
Will she be leaving you
alive but yet again alone?
Will you sit and wait
by the telephone?
or
Are you stronger than
the time before
when your lover left
and shook your very core?
"For better or for worse"
was the vow you both pledged.
Work thought this.
Don't allow your marriage
to be dead.
Is the love you both felt
now completely gone?
With your awakening
I thought you knew
where you belonged.
I don't want to be right
about what I think
I see and feel.
Please tell me that
this dream I think I see
isn't really real.

The Power of the Word

Feeling lost
not connected
Just barely here
Waiting for my soul
to be resurrected
Waiting for the time
I'll feel complete
Wanting my heart
soul and mind
to meet
Feeling washed out
old and faded
My heart is sad
heavy and weighted
Feeling as though
a part of me disappeared
Feeling this way seems
foreign and weird
Words are powerful
they can add or take away
They can make you feel loved
or
they can make you feel betrayed
Maybe the insecurities
do not lay with me
I need insight
I need to see
My soul still hurts
I still feel the pain
I must see the light
and my happiness regain
I must take hold of my senses
and not hesitate
A happier dream
I will create
Using my words badly
there is no justification
So with my word
I pledge to have
better communication

My Loving Daughter

I never ever want to hurt you.
So for my harsh words
I do apologise.
The anger just consumed me.
To be at peace
the anger
I had to exorcise.
You are my only daughter
who I love more than I can say.
To know your own self worth
for this I will pray.
You are an amazing woman.
Deserving of love, peace,
and happiness.
All that you need
is there inside you.
The power you do possess.
I know that you must
do things
in your own way
and in your own time.
It may even seem that you
have been given
a mountain to climb.
I want you to know
I understand the sadness,
hurt and anger that you feel.
If you search deep inside you
there is strength
that will help you heal.
You are taking new steps
that will create new energy.
These new steps on this path
will help your soul
to be free.
I know that bad things happen.
Lessons we must learn.
Please know that I am always
near
with love and concern.
You are in control
of your own destiny.
Open up your mind
and allow yourself to see.
See the dream waiting
for you to create.
Your life laying before you
is a clean slate.
Have faith in your insight.
Your inner feelings
hold what is truth.
You will know the pathway to take
so the best
will happen for you.
No matter what happens
my love for you
will always be.
Your life is yours to live.
I just want you to be happy.

In love, peace and happiness;
mom

No Names Mentioned

I won't mention any names.

You will know who you are.

Watching this unfold

I was hoping it wouldn't

go this far.

I want to yell out

but my lips I keep tightly

pressed.

It wouldn't do any good.

It wouldn't make her hurt any less.

My soul screams out

for I feel her pain.

My wish is for you

to her hurt like her

but from those kinds of thoughts

I will try to refrain.

You don't deserve her

in your life.

Not even to give you

the time of day.

You proved unworthy

of her love

for you only know

how to betray.

What did you do

with the love and

trust she gave you?

You had sex with your ex.

Proving that you are untrue.

You are a "me" person.

The center of attention

you must be.

You are a self indulgent

self absorbed little slut.

Yes, all the world does see.

You know how to use

and how to manipulate.

But showing true love and devotion

these you can not demonstrate.

Wife, mother, lover, partner,

sister and friend.

You don't know how to be any of these

because the meaning of true love

and trust you can't comprehend.

What the hell are you?

Bi, gay, or straight?

I hope by the time

that you figure it out

for you it will be too late.

You don't like confrontation.

You avoid her at all cost.

You make me mad as hell.

I wish you would just get lost.

It's hard to find the words

to express all the rage I feel.

Watching how you treat her

the true color of your soul is revealed.

You didn't deserve her love.

To me you are a big disgrace.

You can't even sit down with her

and talk face to face.

Why is it you can't look

into her eyes?

I don't' think you can talk to her

without telling lies.

You whine and complain

about all the guilt you feel. (oh poor you)

Oh, come on, please!

Are you for real?

What do you expect

when you shit on

the ones you say you love?

I think that true love from you

is something that's unheard of.

You say that you love her

and that you always will.

Then tell me why you're screwing

some guy.

Are you sure you love her still?

What the hell is wrong with you?

I don't think you have a clue.

You do know how to sleaze around

and how to be untrue.

You are a slut and you know

how to deceive.

You will get your pay back.

It's called Karma, I do believe.

My wish for her

is to have her move on

get away from you and all the pain.

Someone better than you is out there

just waiting for her love to gain.

To you she gave

love, trust and fidelity

but you threw

it all away.

I don't have any respect for you.

I have nothing more to say.

replace my anger with peace

my hate with love

my sadness with happiness

The Light

Let go of the sadness
that is caused by old wounds.
Let the message from the light
chase away all the doom.
It's easy to breakdown
from the madness of the past.
Strength, courage and wisdom
of these I do ask.
Domestication of the soul
comes without choice.
To gain wisdom, is to reclaim
my own voice.
The Book of Law
is filled with unhealthy rules.
I must unlearn these laws
and use this new knowledge
as a tool.
The laws in this book
are there to suppress me.
I must create my own laws.
Find my own voice.
Then my success I will see.
Wisdom comes from knowledge
and knowledge is the key.
To know and understand
will set my soul free.
Love, peace and happiness
are mine to claim.
This pathway of my journey
will keep my soul sane.
Love, peace and happiness
I can create.
I will listen to my Creator,
learn to love me and
celebrate.

If The Shoe Fits

I always thought
that you would be here
for me.
She has blinded you
and now you don't see.
Lying and manipulation
is her game.
I try and show you
but it's always me
that you blame.
You always have a reason
that will take the truth away.
Pretty soon I won't care
what you have to say.
I don't understand
why you don't care.
She can hurt me
with her lies
and you're not there.
Not there for me
but there for her.
Where your loyalties lay
it's plain who you prefer.
It seems I will no longer
be able to see
two important people
who mean so much to me.
She's good at her craft
manipulating and lying.
You don't seem to care
or notice
that my soul is crying.
I get angry and hurt
because of the
let down that I feel.
All the years we shared between us
I thought that our friendship
was real.
All the years we have know each other
and everything that we have been through
I guess I am disappointed and hurt
I never expected this from you .
My feelings for you have changed.
I look at you in a different light.
I see who you are
for now I have insight.
My respect for you is lost.
I can't give you what isn't there.
I will be alert.
Take care of my soul
and watch out for my welfare.

Reflection

As another birthday draws near
I look to my Creator and reflect
on the past year.
I seek to learn more
about my own spirituality.
Knowledge and wisdom helps
me to understand my own mortality.
I ask my Creator to help me see
all the wonder and beauty
that has been given to me.
Eric and Rachel are my
angels from above.
My Creator has blessed me
with two wonderful children to love..
My partner, best friend
and the love of my life
my Creator sent me Peggy
to teach me about true love
and to share my life..
Seeing the beauty and splendor
of this great earth.
Teaches me about my own
special worth.
To know why I was made and the reason
I was put here.
Brings me closer to my Creator
I can feel the spirit near.
Wisdom, peace, and love
are the key
to living my life completely.